Fairies in Edward's Meadow
by Dustfinger's cheering section
Summary: Emmet just woke up from being changed, Edward and Rosalie are FWBs, Esme has a pineapple, carlisle is complaining,and disney references are made, OH did we forget to tell you that they are all apparently FAIRIES or unicorns. major AU, OOC, Fluff, Enjoy!


**_Author's Note: Okay, me and a friend, named Bell, just came up with this out of no where. We made it up as we went along, and intend to keep this a one-shot._**

**_We intend to make this #1 in our new one-shot series, "Random Disney References in the Twilight-verse". Hope you liked it! Review!_**

It was midday, and Emmet had been screaming his throat raw for the entire three days.

"Why can't he just shut up already!" Edward shouted, frustrated, pulled his pillow up over head, and turned up his obnoxiously loud punk swing music.

"Yeah, why don't you just put him outside Carlisle! He's giving me a migraine! "Rosalie was completely at her wits end by this point, no matter how hot Emmet was.

"You can't get a migraine, you Blonde Bimbo!" Edward replied, as though he thought her lacking in intelligence, and he did.

"I'm not a Blonde Bimbo, Jerk-Face! You Are!" and that was the reply from the mighty Rosalie.

"I'm not even Blonde, you Idiot! You are such a -----" Edward was cut off suddenly by his father.

"Enough!" Carlisle's voice was firm and direct , "I'll take him out side! Just shut up!" and with that he got up from the couch and started dragging Emmet by his feet

down the stairs, his head bouncing on every step.

Poor Emmet, was being abused. he continued to scream as Carlisle dragged Emmet outside to Edward's personal meadow (' cause Edward was the one who wanted him out of the house.)

"Stupid kids, always complaining, stupid house, with it's non-soundproof walls! Stupid Rosalie, she's the one who wanted him in the first place, just because he's "hot"! Why couldn't Edward

just like her, than we wouldn't have to deal with all this crap!" Carlisle muttered darkly. He continued to mutter (complain) all the way there. When he got there he put him in the middle of the field and went to sit and try to calm down.

" NOOOO don't die Cinderella!!!!!!! Emmet yelled as he shot up in the middle of the field. he looked around, feeling disoriented.

"Where am I?" he muttered, confused. Suddenly he noticed a sparkly thing.

BACK TO EDWARD AND ROSALIE

"So.......what do we do now?" Rosalie asked awkwardly.

" I don't know.....What do you want to do?" Edward asked just as awkward.

" Well we could........."**_ (A/N: We'll let you imagine what happens next ;)......)_**

10 MINUTES LATER

" You bit me!!??!!!!??!!" Edward yelled.

" Well sorry, but most guys like that stuff!!!!" Rosalie said (rather sheepishly) angrily.

" Yeah well........I'm not most guys!!!!!!" He replied.

"Obviously, most guys would bow down to me." Rosalie said as she tossed her blonde locks over her shoulder, rather smugly.

She suddenly stepped forward and shoved him, but seeing as he is Edward he grabbed her arm and they both went right through the stained glass window that Esme adores. (Oh crap!)

BACK TO EMMET AND CARLISLE

Emmet's head was moving quickly in every direction, trying to understand.

Needless say, he got a head rush.

"Hello Emmet. My name is Carlisle and you are one of us now, a -----"

Emmet cut in then " I'm a fairy! I got Kidnapped by freaking fairies! Who the hell are you! You have no right to turn me into a Fairy! "

"Calm down. You're not a fairy. You're a Vampire, you drink blood, and one way or another, you'll have to kill things one day. Doesn't that sound fun?" Carlisle said, obviously irritated by the outburst.

"Dude, you are so deranged! We are Freakin' Fairies! And you don't even know!?!?!?!?! How do you not know you sparkle! Only fairies sparkle! And Magical Unicorns! OMG! Are you an Unicorn!

Oh, Man, I am so so so sorry if I offended you! I really though you were a fairy! OMG! Am I a Unicorn, too? Please say no! Girls don't think Unicorns are macho!" Emmet said this in a

odd manner, to be frank, he looked as if he had been smoking something questionable. Bad quality does that to you (or so I've heard). _**(A/N:YES IT DOES MY BROTHER IS LIVING PROOF!!!!!!!!!! )**_

"Dude! What have you been smokin'?" Edward called from across his meadow, having seen the whole thing (and boy, was he ticked off about this).

"Oh, are you a Unicorn, too? Oh, damn! I'm sorry! You are so obviously a fairy. Forgive me, man. You looked like you could have a hidden horn on you. You are so a very macho fairy. "Emmet said this very sincerely, almost too sincere.

"I'm not a fairy! You friggin' idiot!" Edward said this like he wanted to strangle Emmet (and he did. Oh, ho much he did).

"Oh, Peter! I can't believe I didn't recognize you! How's Wendy? Oh, and Tinker Bell! When do I get to meet Tinker Bell?" Emmet looked like a kid at christmas.

"You don't, dumb ***. Now go to hell! I've a Succumbus to find," Edward said this and then walked away.

Emmet and Carlisle were both silent for a moment. Then Carlisle said, "What the hell! I've put up with you, and they've been together for who knows how long?!"

Esme suddenly walked over. Holding a PineApple. "Hey Carlisle! Hey Emmet!" Esme said cheerfully to them both.

"What the ----?" they said at the same time.

FIVE MINUTES LATER

" EDWARD, ROSALIE, YOU ARE DEAD!!!!!!!!!" Esme shrieked, banshee-like.

**_The END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**


End file.
